Scale

I went on the scale today.It was less than last time ,but not life changing less.

There was no binge eating happening recently. I’ve made a lot of changes in my daily food related routine, and still ,the scale didn’t show it. 

I should probably move more…I wish I could go swimming for example. I really miss doing that.

Today I’m busy overthinking ,and being mad at myself. Maybe I could have done more. Maybe I’m overreacting,and my back and knee don’t hurt me hard enough .After all, people possibly deal with pain much worse than mine on a daily basis .Maybe I should push myself more. Maybe it’s not as easy as I think. Maybe I should stop being so scared of making the small steps. Maybe I should keep on repeating to myself ,that I’m doing this to get better, and not to impress anybody.

Frustration has really set in.

I hate the scale. I hate the numbers that it shows. I’m not those numbers.